the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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