Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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