you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
