What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
