you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
