David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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