My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
