Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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