just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
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All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Rumble strips road head = magical
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I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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