I feel great
I just peed on a car
Girls should come with a carfax report
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
How's work?
Spinning.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
