nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
