I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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