i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
