I love black thongs
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
