I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
