also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
