since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
