I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
