I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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