What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
