So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
