the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
