Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
