Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
