They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Farmville is her only friend.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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