That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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