i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think weed is turning my hair brown
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
