Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
