I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
