Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
