we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize