I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
