I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
