So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
