Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
