thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
