Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
