if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
