you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
