her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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