The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
