i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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