Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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