I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
