One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
