I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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