I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
