you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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