If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
