the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
