I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
