I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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