if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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