just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
