just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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