Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
