Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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