He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
