sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
