i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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