"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
last night I used snow as a chaser
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
