Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
