I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
