"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
