Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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