i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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