I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
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I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
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I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize