We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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