I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
