Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
