he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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