We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
