I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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