Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I AM VODKA MAN
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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